23: A Reflection on Manipulation

At some point in time, I am not sure when, I became aware of all the different ways a person can be manipulated, and it makes me wonder if there is any part of our lives that is not affected by some form of manipulation.

Let me start by saying that I am not a master of manipulation, so this is not a guide or a how to on manipulating others. It is simply observations with little to no justification as to how everyone is bombarded by manipulation in its many forms.

All manipulation is psychological; there is no other kind. Accept that manipulation comes in a few flavors or tactics, and they are gaslighting, guilt-tripping, coercion, charm, reason, debasement, the silent treatment, seduction, persuasion, suggestion, and blackmail.

NOTE: You have to admire, if only a little, a list that summarizes all sorts of behavior that people do and are exposed to every day.

Everyone has used more than two forms of manipulation within a lifetime, regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, or creed. Manipulation is as old as humanity; it is a universal attribute indelibly part of you, and the effects are not always concerned with the conscious mind.

Manipulation can be divided into two sources of inspiration: on-the-fly and premeditated. Now, you might think that premeditated manipulation is the worst; after all, it is the one that is planned, but you would be wrong.

The source does not matter as much as the intent behind the manipulation. That being said, typically the on-the-fly (make it up as you go along) method can be messy, resulting in confusion or conflict easily.

It can be good, bad, moral, or profane: intent is everything regarding manipulation. An admittedly simplified definition of gaslighting is when someone dedicates themselves to doing things that cause you to question what is real. This is an unforgivable act and an extremely harmful form of manipulation, but when a movie or a book does it, we call it entertainment.

When it comes to presentation, your intentions matter. Charm can be used to ease a tense situation or to obfuscate something you do not want seen. Reason is often considered a balanced approach to swaying opinions, but the word is frequently used to supplement the emotion that drives someone to start motivating someone in the first place. Reason goes hand in hand with logic, but just like math, not everyone’s calculations come out correctly.

Go through the list of flavors above, and taste that rainbow using the different perspectives. I think you will find a complex matrix that is everything that people are keepable of doing. Humanity is good, bad, and everything in between; we are choice, consequence, and the result of how we are manipulated and why we manipulate others.

There is no true defense to manipulation, it is part of our biological makeup. The only honest thing anyone can do about it is to be aware and understand that you can change your mind whenever you are ready to do so.

Please keep in mind that lying to yourself or others is the most frequently used form of manipulation, and if you honestly want a complete example of how manipulation works, ask yourself, where in this post did I start manipulating you? Until next time, I am Nolan… Ex Tenebris.